You are down to two days before recording and the buyer of your listing decides that he wants $200 for a
new fan...even though the old one works. You are out with friends and one of them doesn't include tip in their portion of the bill. You are threatened with a lawsuit if you don't delete a post. A friend borrows your car and returns it cluttered and out of gas.
All of these things are more than frustrating. They are downright unfair. After all, why should you take the brunt of someone else's stupidity? The $200? Let's just refuse to record until the buyer agrees to remove this demand...even if it hurts your seller. Your friend doesn't contribute his fair share of the restaurant bill? Demand it right then and there...even if it embarrasses him. Refuse to delete the post...after all, you won't really be sued...right? Go to your friend...friendship be damned...and demand money to have the car washed and filled with gas.
On principle, all these consequences are fair enough. But, they also create a negative atmosphere in which no one can thrive. There are a few things that really can get you through these frustrations. My personal favorite? "Would you rather be happy or right?" There was a little book titled "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff". Life is just too darned short to get hung up on principle. Pay the silly $200 out of your commission...the seller will remember how you came through. Just know that when you are out with those friends, your share is going to be a little higher...didn't you have a fun dinner? Delete the post...it is only an opinion and a few comments...no one will miss it. Wash the car yourself...it's good exercise and fill it with gas...they may not have even thought about it.
So, next time a challenge enters your life and you start to dig your heels in on principle, borrow my mantra...would you rather be happy or right?
Photo from Flickr by Robert Snache
www.PaulaSwayne.com
CA DRE# 01188158
It is easier to let the little things in life slide. So many good times are lost to petty issues.
Hi Paula, great blog! I choose happy though it is really hard sometimes to not get caught up with being "right"! $200 for a fan? Contingencies were removed right? I know that wasn't the point of the story but geez, already!
Hi Denise!
I agree...the tenseness of the situation can put a damper on your whole day...which can affect your business. It's just not worth it.
Hi Cristal!
I start out with the "being right" rant then graduate to the "I think I would rather be happy" mindset...it doesn't happen that easily! The $200 fan was just an example born from an experience my daughter had. The buyer insisted that a missing fan be replaced...to the tune of $300. She found out later that it was a $79 fan. She paid the $300 out of her commission.
Paula: The same response hold here when you are trying to figure out what to do. It depends ! It depends on what is more important to you... and what your ultimate goal is. Sometimes standing for principle can be a good thing. Other times... the craziness it creates... and the stress... are just not worth it. It all depends on what you really want the situation to be... once you make your decision. Nice post, Paula... thanks for sharing...
Hi Karen!
I agree...there are times when the principle will get you through, but more often than not, principle translates into "I don't want to be taken advantage of". This is when I decide my ego is not as important as getting on with life.
Paula, I guess we've all experienced these or very similar incidents and you are absolutely right! They are frustrating but more than that they are thoughtless, inconsiderate, and rude.
I also agree that none of these things rise to the level that even dignifies a response. It's just not worth spoiling your day to try and point out the unfairness to these obviously spoiled people.
Well, Paula, I have to tell you ... I went out with a friend for lunch (just like we do about every month); and this time, she was cheaper than usual. She didn't have any cash, so she asked for my share, and then she put the total on her credit card.
I couldn't believe it when she left no tip at all. The amount I gave her, included almost 20% tip.
I didn't know what to do or say, so I said nothing. I think I was in shock, so I couldn't talk, even if I wanted to.
We left the restaurant, I kissed her goodbye, and went right back into the restaurant, looked for the waitress, apologized, and gave her $20.
We set up another lunch date for the end of next month .... I'm not sure what I'll do if history repeats itself. I only have so much money. :)
Hi Mike!
Sometimes it takes me a little longer to be happy rather than right! ;o)
Hi Sylvie!
Maybe next time you put it on your credit card and after coming to the total, tell her what her share is!
Yep... good advise. You have to pick your battles, and decide which ones are worth dying over, so to speak. P.S. if I ever go to lunch with you, I'll be fair, I promise! (We have had a friend for 30 years who ALWAYS screws us on the restaurant bill... it's just in his personality. but we like him and he's a lot of fun, and has a lot of other great and generous characteristics. We just know in advance how it is going to be, then it doesn't bother us.... as much!
Paula, you would think that would work ... unfortunately, she never has any cash, and either has to pay me later (if I put it on my credit card), (and later never comes) .... or she puts it on her credit card and doesn't tip.
I think I just have to have a talk with her one of these days. I've been putting it off for years (and so has the rest of the group). At some point, I think it is all about principle.
It's funny (or maybe not so much) that in business, it doesn't bother me so much, to 'damn' the principles, but with a friend, it bothers me more. I have to work on this. You gave me a lot to think about. Thanks.
Hi Sally!
An old friend has always been late for everything we did...work related or not. I finally asked her why she was always late. Now, this is a lady who has a heart of gold. She said "Because I hate waiting for people, so if I come last, I won't have to wait!" Now, I just make my plans accordingly.
Hi Sylvie!
You are caught between a rock and a hard place...I don't see how you can avoid an honest conversation.